My all-time favorite theater review was for a play titled Why?

The critic wrote one word: “Exactly.”

I thought of this when I heard that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will be embarking on a four-day trip to Colombia next Thursday.

They are coming at the invitation of the country’s first black vice president, Francia Marquez, who enthused that the rebellious royal duo “have the exceptional opportunity to connect with elders, youth and women who embody the aspirations and voices of Colombians… and highlight Colombia’s role as a beacon of culture and innovation.”

Meghan and Harry are no longer real royals these days.

They do not perform any real duties for the institution that gave them their title. They only fill their pockets with money in America by constantly smearing their family and the monarchy in the media.

What then gives them the right to travel the world and pretend to be real royals, on quasi-official visits?

There is so much wrong with this idea.

First, the laughable hypocrisy of going to one of the most dangerous places in the world – both the British and US government websites warn travellers to Colombia of the increased risk of terrorism, kidnapping, rape and robbery – after all of Harry’s whiny demands for taxpayer-funded royal security whenever he comes to the UK to “protect his family”.

Second, their decision to support the Colombian government, which has been plagued by scandals since it came to power.

President Gustavo Petro, a radical socialist who once led a rebel guerrilla movement, saw his foreign minister suspended over alleged corruption, his son Nicolas accused of stealing money from drug traffickers meant for his father’s presidential campaign, and his brother Juan accused of demanding payments from jailed drug dealers in exchange for legal benefits from the government.

Petro was also recently accused of cheating on a transgender TV host.

As for his vice president, there is growing public anger at her hypocrisy. She is Colombia’s Minister of Equality and at the same time uses luxury helicopters as taxis and spends millions on a new house, where she now lives instead of her official residence.

Opposition politician Miguel Polo Polo posted on X: “Francia Marquez is the biggest fraud in our black community.

“She has been in power for two years and has done nothing, just played the victim and traveled around in helicopters.”

Does this sound familiar?

But what irritates me most is the Sussexes’ delusion that they can somehow operate as a rival royal family on the world stage, enjoying all the perks of royal status but without having to honour their obligations to king and country.

It is completely unacceptable and untenable for estranged members of the royal family to undertake these types of official trips.

The King should strip Meghan and Harry of the titles they so cynically trade, and he should instruct palace officials to tell the leaders of foreign governments to stop extending formal invitations for such trips to this greedy and two-faced couple who want both the royal and the royal.